Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
