So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
