My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
