so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
