Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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