You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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