i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
