Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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