i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
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Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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