i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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