I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
