He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize