When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize