You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need to sanitize my soul.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
