The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
