Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
