nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
