You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize