A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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