what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
