They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
