Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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