Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
