We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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