Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
