Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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