Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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