I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
