I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
