Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
