He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
