When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
