You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You can't special order awesome
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
