those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
