So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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