I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
