What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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