I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
