My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
