my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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