can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
