i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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