I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?