Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.