he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What's dad's email?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell