If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
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Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.