Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix