I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
