Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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