i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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