i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
