So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
