Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
