I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I look better un-naked...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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