so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
