I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
