I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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