frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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