Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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