you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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