i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
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I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
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Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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