I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
